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From: M. du Bois
Date: 20 Jun 2003
Time: 19:33:47
Remote Name: 61.9.208.173
What you have experienced is quite common for inexperieced people who arent used to anal sex. Many men 'learn' from pornography that every woman can just bend over and take a penis anally 'just like that', this is a common myth. Anal sex, is more tricky than vaginal sex. The anus is more tense and needs extra care in intercourse.
First,make sure you heal your current problem. Give it 2 weeks and if you still feel pain or are still bleeding then I would advise going to the doctor.(If you are bleeding heavily or are experiencing significant pain then go to the doctor straight away.) You probably just have a tear near the rectum. Just eat food that softens your stools, like prunes, so that it can heal easier.
If you wish to attempt anal sex again in a few months, then take it easy, You must take control of the situation and lay some ground rules down to your boyfriend. You have to be incontrol of the initial penetration. I recommend you being on top straddling his hips. This gives you more control, but you need to work out whats comfortable for you. You will also need to use lubricant, like KY Jelly(remember that some other lubricants can weaken condoms, so choose carefully). I recommend the use of condoms for anal sex even if you dont use them for vaginal intercourse. This is just a cleanliness issue. Another issue in anal sex is douching. Anal sex without douching can be messy. You may want to research issues regarding douching yourself. It can be a little tricky and messy in itself but may work well for you.
When you attempt anal sex again, take your time and be in control. Take your time, even a few minutes to 'get it in' The moment you feel any pain. Stop! then wait a few minutes then try again. One thing that helps is that when you feel his penis pushing at your rectum, you should push out, this can be embarrassing as you may pass wind, but this relaxes the rectum. It may take time but I think the enjoyment you and him will get make it worth it. You will get better at it with regular practice. Remember that it shouldnt hurt and also remember that different positions can give totally different sensations so experiment once you are comfortable.
Goodluck and happy and healthy loving! MdB [email protected]